The next stage
The first visit.
And so it's off to see the Oncologist. As we live in the middle of the sea on a small island, we have to go by plane. I know this sounds exotic, it isn't. It's bloody exhausting, Cabin Boy dutifully comes with me.
We arrive at the hospital, which holds scary memories of the Cabin Boy being close to death because of his scary treatment, and my experiences in the Neuro Wing, having various test and hurty things being done to my spine. Being the strong, 'I can cope with anything' woman - I immediately broke down, dissolving into this howling, shaking, jibbering wreck of a woman. WTF? Cabin Boy pats me, which he always does when he doesn't know what to do. Is it a man thing? Didn't he realise 40 years ago when I was in labour, when he was told to fuck off after attempting to pat me? But bless him, what else to do.
Anyway, big, deep breath, lippy on, upwards and onwards we go. The Consultant, a lady in her mid 40s, - so young! Rather serious, I guess she has to be. A pleasant ANAL nurse - isn't having an anal husband enough? Far too many anals in this business for me...
The cancer is small - the size of a grape - SMALL! I thought it was the size of a small pea. It hasn't spread. Good news I suppose, but I am still to have the full blast of treatment. 28 days of chemotherapy and radiotherapy. The first day, the chemo is an infusion, but after that two tablets a day. That sounds easy, until I hear that the side effects are the same. Now - to the side effects. Very little loss of hair, apart from pubic hair. Finally - I am going to be modern! Will I be going commando or something, or does that mean having no knickers? It'll feel the same anyway. Just think what I could save on waxing, as it is, I'll just save the husband's razor blades. Do you think he ever wonders what the random curly hairs are on his razor? Perhaps he thinks he has a beard. I am going to feel nauseous and have diarrhoea. I was assured that the tumour is far enough removed from the sphincter muscle, meaning that I won't become incontinent, and won't need a stoma, which I think is a colostomy bag. My daughter had plans for designs for a bag cover with matching jewellery, & maybe even a hat..... She could still try - Dragon's Den be warned. Now back to these side effects. Basically I am going to feel like shit, & there will no doubt be a lot of it around.
One of the most alarming effects is on the skin. It will burn - like hell. It may even come off, in which case they will put webbing there. I have never experienced a webbed bum, I doubt even a duck would understand, but it will bloody hurt. I have had to order a portable bidet! It is a plastic thing that fits over the toilet where you can rest your burnt bum in salted water. Doesn't that sting like hell?
There are a lot of very dodgy looking people in the hospital. Do we live in a sheltered world, or is it just a meeting place? People stand outside in their dressing gowns and pyjamas, on a drip, smoking! WTF? Bloody smoking!! On a drip!
Enough rant. Arrive home exhausted, scared, frightened, want to run away.
And so it's off to see the Oncologist. As we live in the middle of the sea on a small island, we have to go by plane. I know this sounds exotic, it isn't. It's bloody exhausting, Cabin Boy dutifully comes with me.
We arrive at the hospital, which holds scary memories of the Cabin Boy being close to death because of his scary treatment, and my experiences in the Neuro Wing, having various test and hurty things being done to my spine. Being the strong, 'I can cope with anything' woman - I immediately broke down, dissolving into this howling, shaking, jibbering wreck of a woman. WTF? Cabin Boy pats me, which he always does when he doesn't know what to do. Is it a man thing? Didn't he realise 40 years ago when I was in labour, when he was told to fuck off after attempting to pat me? But bless him, what else to do.
Anyway, big, deep breath, lippy on, upwards and onwards we go. The Consultant, a lady in her mid 40s, - so young! Rather serious, I guess she has to be. A pleasant ANAL nurse - isn't having an anal husband enough? Far too many anals in this business for me...
The cancer is small - the size of a grape - SMALL! I thought it was the size of a small pea. It hasn't spread. Good news I suppose, but I am still to have the full blast of treatment. 28 days of chemotherapy and radiotherapy. The first day, the chemo is an infusion, but after that two tablets a day. That sounds easy, until I hear that the side effects are the same. Now - to the side effects. Very little loss of hair, apart from pubic hair. Finally - I am going to be modern! Will I be going commando or something, or does that mean having no knickers? It'll feel the same anyway. Just think what I could save on waxing, as it is, I'll just save the husband's razor blades. Do you think he ever wonders what the random curly hairs are on his razor? Perhaps he thinks he has a beard. I am going to feel nauseous and have diarrhoea. I was assured that the tumour is far enough removed from the sphincter muscle, meaning that I won't become incontinent, and won't need a stoma, which I think is a colostomy bag. My daughter had plans for designs for a bag cover with matching jewellery, & maybe even a hat..... She could still try - Dragon's Den be warned. Now back to these side effects. Basically I am going to feel like shit, & there will no doubt be a lot of it around.
One of the most alarming effects is on the skin. It will burn - like hell. It may even come off, in which case they will put webbing there. I have never experienced a webbed bum, I doubt even a duck would understand, but it will bloody hurt. I have had to order a portable bidet! It is a plastic thing that fits over the toilet where you can rest your burnt bum in salted water. Doesn't that sting like hell?
There are a lot of very dodgy looking people in the hospital. Do we live in a sheltered world, or is it just a meeting place? People stand outside in their dressing gowns and pyjamas, on a drip, smoking! WTF? Bloody smoking!! On a drip!
Enough rant. Arrive home exhausted, scared, frightened, want to run away.
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